They rose up by the dozens from across Florida, caricatured competitors in tank tops and cutoff shorts, for a showdown that treats evading police and wrestling over beer like Olympic sports.
Promoted as “the most insane athletic showdown on Earth,” the Florida Man Games poke fun at the state’s reputation for bizarre stories that involve brawling, drinking, gunfire, reptile wrangling and other antics carrying a risk of time in jail or intensive care.
Several thousand people paid to come cheer a dozen teams at the debut event set for yesterday in St Augustine, with contests and sideshows inspired by real events from the US’ most surreal state.
Photo: Tyler Watts via AP
“I have an absolute disregard for self-preservation. I will do anything,” said Larry Donnelly, 42, who owns a St Augustine pressure-washing business and serves as captain of the five-man team Hanky Spanky. “When I was in the military, I did a little alligator wrestling.”
To train for the games, Donnelly rode a bicycle around his neighborhood with a second bike strapped to his back.
His event: a race requiring competitors to switch between bikes while toting a catalytic converter and a handful of copper pipes, common items in Florida theft stories.
Other events involve contenders wrestling sumo-style while holding pitchers of beer, or running from actual sheriff’s deputies while jumping fences and avoiding obstacles.
Some signed up to duel with aquatic noodles over a mud-filled pool, while others faced a scramble to grab cash flying in simulated hurricane winds.
Florida Man Games organizer Pete Melfi said he was stunned to find nobody else had beaten him to the ripped-from-headlines idea for a spoof sporting event.
He said he expected more than 5,000 spectators paying US$45 or more per ticket to join the fun at the city’s Francis Field.
“We kind of give a person an opportunity to live a day in the life of Florida man without ending up in a cop car,” said Melfi, who runs the St. Augustine media outlet The 904 Now.
He had to tone down some racier aspects of the Florida Man mythos to obtain a permit.
“There’s typically drugs and nudity,” he said. “But the city frowned on it when I asked for drugs and nudity.”
The “Florida Man” phenomenon seeped into the nation’s conscience thanks in part to a Twitter account that started in 2013 with the handle @_FloridaMan. The account touted “real-life stories of the world’s worst superhero,” sharing news headlines such as “Florida Man Bites Dog to ‘Establish Dominance’” and “Florida Man Tried to Pay for McDonald’s With Weed.”
Florida’s claim to being the strangest state goes back much further, said Craig Pittman, a Florida journalist who wrote the book Oh, Florida! How America’s Weirdest State Influences the Rest of the Country.
He said that the first flag to fly over its state Capitol in 1845 bore the motto “Let Us Alone.”
Apparently nobody listened. Florida today has 22 million residents, the third-largest population of any US state. They all share roads, beaches and timeshares with more than 130 million tourists per year.
“You cram that many people together, they’re bound to start running into each other’s cars and chasing each other with machetes,” Pittman said.
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