Parental guidance needed
After reading National Taitung University lecturer Shiao Fu-song’s (蕭福松) article about parents needing to raise their children well and fulfilling their responsibilities (“Moral compass for young people,” Nov. 3, page 8) I, as an assistant professor, would like to argue that using parental discipline is quite an oblique statement that brings confusion when discussing the role of parenting.
Parents might use authoritarian discipline when leniency has failed completely. From my perspective, parents should focus on demonstrating to their children how to develop good manners.
First and foremost, it should be clear that the school system must take on the responsibility to teach and reinforce students’ knowledge to develop their competitiveness on the job market. On the other hand, parents are in charge of training their children’s societal standards. Thus, parents should remember the statement, “learning by doing.”
According to the Chinese saying, “Example is better than precept” (言傳不如身教), parents are actually in charge of training their children to develop good social skills. It should be relatively easy to teach good manners to children; parents just need to show good manners when they are face-to-face with their children. In line with Shiao’s opinion, three moral values are considered essential in this letter: gratitude, self-control and cooperation.
First, parents should show gratitude to their children during outings by appreciating the time they spend with them and avoiding playing online games. Parents should demonstrate how to spend quality time with other people to increase the value of their friendship. Otherwise, it is highly likely that children will feel bored and fall into a malicious trap.
Second, parents must practice self-control over their emotions and attitudes if they want their children to listen to their guidance and to develop good behavior. Parents should demonstrate that it is possible to control emotions and desires otherwise their children would believe that it is okay to do and say whatever they want without any limitations.
Finally, cooperation is a combination of gratitude and self-control. As a matter of fact, anyone who has a job needs to cooperate with another person or company. Who would like to be associated with a person who has lost control of their emotions and good manners? That also implies a form of respect for others.
All in all, it is well known that children are kinesthetic learners; they mostly learn by seeing and doing. Children would live a fulfilled life if parents would demonstrate good manners in the first place.
David Blasco
New Taipei City
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