Taiwanese politics continues at its helter-skelter pace, full of anomalies, full of posturing, full of characters and full of TV shows with satirical and serious commentary.
Some of the politicians and characters involved have been likened to animals by pundits because of the similarity of their antics. None are endangered species, though some in the pan-green camp probably wish they were. As a matter of fact, each in his own way has shown an amazing ability to adapt to changing environments.
The first animal some people call the fox. The wily fox neither plants nor sows; he lives off his neighbors. As a politician, the fox is known for his wiles and though he has not won every contest, he is a survivor. In power, he can be known for largesse with the taxpayer's money, which may explain why he maintains a number of hanger-ons despite not having had an elected position or job for some eight years.
Right now, long-time observers are curiously watching the fox. A man that was recently convicted of tax evasion (yes, that's conviction with a capital "C"). Still, the fox has managed to consistently put in appearances and be welcomed at the pan-blue anti-corruption rallies of another animal we'll discuss shortly. What is of more interest is whether the fox will run for mayor of the largest city in Taiwan.
The election for Taipei mayor are barely two months away. For any other member of a major party to have not officially de-clared candidacy by now would be political suicide. Not so for the wily fox.
The fox has already passed up a chance to run for and no doubt be elected to the Legislative Yuan. Such a position would be too limited for one who feels he should be president. Yet at 64 years old, his political opportunities are diminishing. Another is the most likely pan-blue presidential candidate for 2008. The fox would be 70 in 2012.
So what is the fox waiting for? The position of Taipei mayor has power, a budget and visibility. However, another strong candidate for Taipei mayor is the Chinese Nationalist Party (KMT) candidate. Is the fox afraid that he might be beaten by the KMT? There is a good chance that the KMT candidate would beat the fox in a one-on-one battle among the pan-blue forces.
Still, by running, the fox would split the pan-blue vote and help the Democratic Progressive Party (DPP) candidate to win. Would he want to use that as a bargaining chip with the KMT for special favors? The fox has both deep friends and deep enemies in the KMT camp. To blackmail the KMT with the threat of his running is a double-edged sword. Long term, it might serve monetary but not political ambitions. Despite the anti-Chen protests, all eyes will be watching the fox closely over the next two months.
A second person is sometimes called the weasel. A showboat idealist at the beginning, the weasel has managed to shamelessly parlay his way into both pan-green and pan-blue camps for his advantage. Like former Chinese leader Mao Zedong (毛澤東), he currently delights in leading his Red Guard. The guards are made up primarily of hard core, disgruntled pan-blues along with a portion of the idealistic but naive strawberry generation who have no sense of history pre-1996.
The latter group sadly has a myopic and hypocritical slant on corruption in Taiwan's history and politics. Fortunately for Taiwan, the weasel does not have Mao's influence or power to unleash them on the countryside. Further, the grass-roots people of the countryside in Kaohsiung, Tainan and the south have quickly let the Red Guard know their ignorance and hypocrisy are not welcome down there.
The weasel allegedly got one-sixth of the pan-blues to give him NT$100 for a grand total of NT$110 million. How true is this? The bank books have not been made public, nor has it been shown whose signature and chop actually control the money. The only verification has been the questionable pan-blue media. Need any more be said?
The weasel serves the pan-blue needs at the moment; so whether he actually got that amount is unimportant. Many believe he could have gotten more than one-sixth of the 6 million blues to kick in NT$100. The truth of the matter, however, is that the pan-blues would not trust the weasel with more than that amount, and as was said above, it is yet to be proven how much of it they have.
Some may wonder why one person is referred to as the monkey. The explanation is simple. Like a monkey throwing down coconuts from a palm tree or sticks and stones from trees, the monkey throws down unproven accusations. When cornered and asked to provide proof for his accusations, the monkey jumps to another tree and starts the same process over again.
Protected by his legislative immunity like a monkey in a tree, the monkey can do this and get away with it. The court prosecutors and inspectors are obliged to carry out examinations and go on fishing expeditions where he directs them at taxpayers' expense.
The pan-blue media of course also gives the monkey constant attention. Ironically the monkey has never thrown an accusation down against any pan-blue politician even though plenty have received both indictments and convictions; the monkey can only see green targets.
The monkey has been silent recently while the media is courting other figures. Has he run out of accusations? No; he can always make up new ones. Others, however, hold the spotlight. Will he be able to tolerate this?
In a more interesting irony, the monkey has been silent on the accountability of the weasel's NT$110 million. Is all the money sent by lone individuals? Is there some red money mixed in? Further, with so much free money floating around, the potential for corruption in the anti-corruption campaign is extremely high to say the least.
Where is the monkey? Since the monkey has been so worried about the accountability of Sogo coupons from over three years ago where the trail is murky, why doesn't he get on this money trail while it is still hot?
The chameleon is the last in the group. He has a well crafted Madison Avenue image and he shows an amazing ability to change colors as the wind blows in one direction or the other. If the weather vane points toward China, he turns red. If it points toward defending the KMT's ill gotten assets, he turns blue. If he wants to aim at pan-green votes, he turns a nice shade of aqua.
Whatever the situation, the chameleon is always ready to befriend any cause and pose with any person that will get him what he wants. He is also ready to avoid any situation that may call for responsibility. Thus, when accountability shows its head, he reads which way the wind is blowing and changes direction and color. Some speculate on how he can continue to lie with a straight face, but I don't call it lying. I see it as trying to find the right spin or color to put on a situation.
That said, there remains however, one situation that no one has explained and even the pan-blue media refuse to examine. That is the dead body of the female pan-blue supporter that lay on the third floor balcony of Taipei City Hall for six months without anyone noticing.
The pan-blue media, which gave blanket round-the-clock coverage to the family of the man who derailed a train to kill his Vietnamese wife has not touched this one with a ten-foot pole. Why the neglect? I don't think that even the chameleon could figure out what color was appropriate.
While the pundits want us to guess who the animals are, they are of course being satirical, and the ultimate aim of satire is to improve the situation. Taiwan's pitiful situation, however, is that it lacks any strong commendable political leadership from any of these four. Each pursues his own goals.
For the moment, the fox, the weasel, the monkey and the chameleon all share the spotlight of the pan-blue media. They are united in their hatred of Chen's presidency, and in their hypocritical one-sided anti-corruption campaign. Can this last? Long term, their personal goals are not mutually compatible. Keep tuned, one of them may become an endangered species by next year.
Jerome Keating is a Taiwan-based writer.
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