I thought the anti-Chen Shui-bian (
Then it was canines wrapped in red, including the golden retriever I saw plastered with a sign saying "I'm better than A-bian" and trained to carry a red bucket to collect receipts for Chen's much-maligned "secret diplomatic fund."
But I nearly sprayed my Whisby out of my nose when I turned on the idiot box a couple of nights ago to see a three-year-old girl delivering a squeaky anti-Chen diatribe and giving her hen ke'ai version of the now-ubiquitous thumbs-down sign.
What's next -- trotting out an ultrasound of a fetus pointing its still-forming thumb downward? Do these people have no shame?
I'm all for prosecuting the Receipt-Collector-in-Chief after he's finished his term -- if investigators find he's done anything illegal (under a little document called the Constitution, he's immune from criminal charges while in office, unless he commits "rebellion or treason").
But in my book, falsifying receipts, as his critics allege Chen and his wife have done, pales in comparison to turning guileless children into political puppets. Those responsible for such abuse should be forced to xiatai from their parental duties, and be given a sound thrashing for good measure.
But at least the rally organizers have stopped blithering about Nazca lines and other kooky ideas (leave it to the Democratic Progressive Party to fight back with giant, malformed white gloves and appeals for "Nazca lines of love"). Now, Shih's mob has moved on to providing us Taiwanese with what we really care about: business opportunities. What with all the T-shirts and other "Depose Chen" paraphernalia, I wouldn't be surprised to see the nation's GDP spike up this month.
Strike or no strike, who said that Chen wasn't good for the economy?
One of the most creative moneymaking schemes, if the United Daily News is to be believed, is the Chen Shui-bian voodoo doll, the brainchild of a couple surnamed Lin.
"We hit upon the idea because we found all the anti-Chen commodities were not cute, so we began to make Chen Shui-bian voodoo dolls with hemp thread," said Lin, according to Deutsche Presse-Agentur's translation. They're reportedly selling like, yes, hotcakes, at NT$180 (US$5.50) a pop.
Meanwhile, Shih and his gang have trotted out just about every washed-up singer, painfully earnest high school student, drug-addled English teacher and underexposed actor they can find, turning Ketagalan Boulevard into a Woodstock for Wankers.
But soon, they'll have to cast their eyes abroad for more fodder. Here's a tip: when you see former US child star Gary Coleman and the dinosaurs of pop Air Supply on stage in crimson garb with extended thumbs, you'll know the rally is near its last gasp. Or when you hear the crowd chanting "A-bian xiatai" to the tune of Macarena (I clearly heard a version to the tune of Battle Hymn of the Republic, so all things are possible).
Some have tried to compare Shih's campaign to the historic "People Power" movement that ousted Philippine dictator Ferdinand Marcos in 1986, but if so then it's history repeating itself as farce, in the hackneyed words of the original "Red" (that's Karl Marx, for my younger readers).
In fact, gazing over the crowd of ridiculous mask-wearers, red ribbon tiers, Nazca-line dreamers, dressed-up dogs, goofy teens skipping school, has-been entertainers, gyrating middle-aged men, balloon-clad "warriors" and toothless geezers holding up placards with incoherent insults in "English," it becomes clear that what we are witnessing is far beyond "People Power." Call it "Dork Power."
But will Dork Power bring down the president? I wouldn't bet vital organs on it, unless they find evidence that he's killed a baby.
Why? It comes down to three simple words, the ones that make Chinese Nationalist Party (KMT) Chairman Ma Ying-jeou (
Endnote: According to the New York Times on Thursday, Beijing and local Chinese officials have been fudging fatalities from Super Typhoon Saomai. I am crestfallen that the hard work of the scientists who invented the death toll "quotients" I outlined last week has been libeled in such a comprehensive manner. Shame, NYT, shame.
Heard or read something particularly objectionable about Taiwan? Johnny wants to know: dearjohnny@taipeitimes.com is the place to reach me, with "Dear Johnny" in the subject line.
US president-elect Donald Trump on Tuesday named US Representative Mike Waltz, a vocal supporter of arms sales to Taiwan who has called China an “existential threat,” as his national security advisor, and on Thursday named US Senator Marco Rubio, founding member of the Inter-Parliamentary Alliance on China — a global, cross-party alliance to address the challenges that China poses to the rules-based order — as his secretary of state. Trump’s appointments, including US Representative Elise Stefanik as US ambassador to the UN, who has been a strong supporter of Taiwan in the US Congress, and Robert Lighthizer as US trade
A nation has several pillars of national defense, among them are military strength, energy and food security, and national unity. Military strength is very much on the forefront of the debate, while several recent editorials have dealt with energy security. National unity and a sense of shared purpose — especially while a powerful, hostile state is becoming increasingly menacing — are problematic, and would continue to be until the nation’s schizophrenia is properly managed. The controversy over the past few days over former navy lieutenant commander Lu Li-shih’s (呂禮詩) usage of the term “our China” during an interview about his attendance
Following the BRICS summit held in Kazan, Russia, last month, media outlets circulated familiar narratives about Russia and China’s plans to dethrone the US dollar and build a BRICS-led global order. Each summit brings renewed buzz about a BRICS cross-border payment system designed to replace the SWIFT payment system, allowing members to trade without using US dollars. Articles often highlight the appeal of this concept to BRICS members — bypassing sanctions, reducing US dollar dependence and escaping US influence. They say that, if widely adopted, the US dollar could lose its global currency status. However, none of these articles provide
Bo Guagua (薄瓜瓜), the son of former Chinese Communist Party (CCP) Central Committee Politburo member and former Chongqing Municipal Communist Party secretary Bo Xilai (薄熙來), used his British passport to make a low-key entry into Taiwan on a flight originating in Canada. He is set to marry the granddaughter of former political heavyweight Hsu Wen-cheng (許文政), the founder of Luodong Poh-Ai Hospital in Yilan County’s Luodong Township (羅東). Bo Xilai is a former high-ranking CCP official who was once a challenger to Chinese President Xi Jinping (習近平) for the chairmanship of the CCP. That makes Bo Guagua a bona fide “third-generation red”
RSS