I thought the anti-Chen Shui-bian (
Then it was canines wrapped in red, including the golden retriever I saw plastered with a sign saying "I'm better than A-bian" and trained to carry a red bucket to collect receipts for Chen's much-maligned "secret diplomatic fund."
But I nearly sprayed my Whisby out of my nose when I turned on the idiot box a couple of nights ago to see a three-year-old girl delivering a squeaky anti-Chen diatribe and giving her hen ke'ai version of the now-ubiquitous thumbs-down sign.
What's next -- trotting out an ultrasound of a fetus pointing its still-forming thumb downward? Do these people have no shame?
I'm all for prosecuting the Receipt-Collector-in-Chief after he's finished his term -- if investigators find he's done anything illegal (under a little document called the Constitution, he's immune from criminal charges while in office, unless he commits "rebellion or treason").
But in my book, falsifying receipts, as his critics allege Chen and his wife have done, pales in comparison to turning guileless children into political puppets. Those responsible for such abuse should be forced to xiatai from their parental duties, and be given a sound thrashing for good measure.
But at least the rally organizers have stopped blithering about Nazca lines and other kooky ideas (leave it to the Democratic Progressive Party to fight back with giant, malformed white gloves and appeals for "Nazca lines of love"). Now, Shih's mob has moved on to providing us Taiwanese with what we really care about: business opportunities. What with all the T-shirts and other "Depose Chen" paraphernalia, I wouldn't be surprised to see the nation's GDP spike up this month.
Strike or no strike, who said that Chen wasn't good for the economy?
One of the most creative moneymaking schemes, if the United Daily News is to be believed, is the Chen Shui-bian voodoo doll, the brainchild of a couple surnamed Lin.
"We hit upon the idea because we found all the anti-Chen commodities were not cute, so we began to make Chen Shui-bian voodoo dolls with hemp thread," said Lin, according to Deutsche Presse-Agentur's translation. They're reportedly selling like, yes, hotcakes, at NT$180 (US$5.50) a pop.
Meanwhile, Shih and his gang have trotted out just about every washed-up singer, painfully earnest high school student, drug-addled English teacher and underexposed actor they can find, turning Ketagalan Boulevard into a Woodstock for Wankers.
But soon, they'll have to cast their eyes abroad for more fodder. Here's a tip: when you see former US child star Gary Coleman and the dinosaurs of pop Air Supply on stage in crimson garb with extended thumbs, you'll know the rally is near its last gasp. Or when you hear the crowd chanting "A-bian xiatai" to the tune of Macarena (I clearly heard a version to the tune of Battle Hymn of the Republic, so all things are possible).
Some have tried to compare Shih's campaign to the historic "People Power" movement that ousted Philippine dictator Ferdinand Marcos in 1986, but if so then it's history repeating itself as farce, in the hackneyed words of the original "Red" (that's Karl Marx, for my younger readers).
In fact, gazing over the crowd of ridiculous mask-wearers, red ribbon tiers, Nazca-line dreamers, dressed-up dogs, goofy teens skipping school, has-been entertainers, gyrating middle-aged men, balloon-clad "warriors" and toothless geezers holding up placards with incoherent insults in "English," it becomes clear that what we are witnessing is far beyond "People Power." Call it "Dork Power."
But will Dork Power bring down the president? I wouldn't bet vital organs on it, unless they find evidence that he's killed a baby.
Why? It comes down to three simple words, the ones that make Chinese Nationalist Party (KMT) Chairman Ma Ying-jeou (
Endnote: According to the New York Times on Thursday, Beijing and local Chinese officials have been fudging fatalities from Super Typhoon Saomai. I am crestfallen that the hard work of the scientists who invented the death toll "quotients" I outlined last week has been libeled in such a comprehensive manner. Shame, NYT, shame.
Heard or read something particularly objectionable about Taiwan? Johnny wants to know: dearjohnny@taipeitimes.com is the place to reach me, with "Dear Johnny" in the subject line.
Chinese President Xi Jinping (習近平) has prioritized modernizing the Chinese People’s Liberation Army (PLA) to rival the US military, with many experts believing he would not act on Taiwan until the PLA is fully prepared to confront US forces. At the Chinese Communist Party’s 20th Party Congress in 2022, Xi emphasized accelerating this modernization, setting 2027 — the PLA’s centennial — as the new target, replacing the previous 2035 goal. US intelligence agencies said that Xi has directed the PLA to be ready for a potential invasion of Taiwan by 2027, although no decision on launching an attack had been made. Whether
A chip made by Taiwan Semiconductor Manufacturing Co (TSMC) was found on a Huawei Technologies Co artificial intelligence (AI) processor, indicating a possible breach of US export restrictions that have been in place since 2019 on sensitive tech to the Chinese firm and others. The incident has triggered significant concern in the IT industry, as it appears that proxy buyers are acting on behalf of restricted Chinese companies to bypass the US rules, which are intended to protect its national security. Canada-based research firm TechInsights conducted a die analysis of the Huawei Ascend 910B AI Trainer, releasing its findings on Oct.
In honor of President Jimmy Carter’s 100th birthday, my longtime friend and colleague John Tkacik wrote an excellent op-ed reassessing Carter’s derecognition of Taipei. But I would like to add my own thoughts on this often-misunderstood president. During Carter’s single term as president of the United States from 1977 to 1981, despite numerous foreign policy and domestic challenges, he is widely recognized for brokering the historic 1978 Camp David Accords that ended the state of war between Egypt and Israel after more than three decades of hostilities. It is considered one of the most significant diplomatic achievements of the 20th century.
In a recent essay in Foreign Affairs, titled “The Upside on Uncertainty in Taiwan,” Johns Hopkins University professor James B. Steinberg makes the argument that the concept of strategic ambiguity has kept a tenuous peace across the Taiwan Strait. In his piece, Steinberg is primarily countering the arguments of Tufts University professor Sulmaan Wasif Khan, who in his thought-provoking new book The Struggle for Taiwan does some excellent out-of-the-box thinking looking at US policy toward Taiwan from 1943 on, and doing some fascinating “what if?” exercises. Reading through Steinberg’s comments, and just starting to read Khan’s book, we could already sense that